At the moment we are born we both lack and need it the most: self-help. As time progresses we develop ways in which to help ourselves. These ways will prove either a general benefit or detriment to us. Here, when our behavior is making real consequences on our lives is the time for an overall assessment, yet at this stage admitting one’s weakness or area of inadequacy is a hard truth to swallow. I remember how only in the last year was I able to admit that the way I present myself with some people is ‘unfocused’ or scatter-brained. I’ve come to realize that I don’t take the time to elucidate my words in a way that clearly communicates with the other; I’m just trying to get my new idea out or thought out. Once I admitted that my poise in personal one-on-one conversation is not up to pare, I felt slightly hallowed out inside. So much time had passed and I thought I was doing just fine, but instead I needed (and still need) an adjustment. Weaknesses are hard to swallow, yet as indigestion subsides, the embarrassment and self-ridicule wanes, allowing a person can develop towards their potential.
Once the hard part of admitting your faults is over, finding ways to help yourself personally can be embarrassing. Mulling for hours in the bookstore aisle whose title just as well should say “I have a problem – fix me!” is hard to sustain without a surveying glance for the chance you may meet know someone, spiking your embarrassment to new quasar levels. Looking to books, a friendly and ‘put together” guru, or a blog site (grins) are all other people’s answers. Perhaps discomfort in the search for self-help is due to the knowingness is that our answers and solutions are within ourselves. But yes, we actually do need help from others first before we can pry open our own doors. Those books, tapes, music, meditations, gurus that resonate with you the most, these are your aids, not your answers. Like a messenger they send sparks to help you ignite your own candle.
